Grossed Out
Ten reasons to be grossed out and miserable in Cousein Bas:
1) It is 8.45pm, and the temperature in the shade, without any exaggeration, which, I admit, I am prone to do, is 42 degrees Celsius. I'm exhausted, sweaty and smelly.*
2) The flies don't give up. I'm surrounded. I'm easy meat.
3) The water pressure that bursts the hose does not transfer to the caravan shower.
4) Cottage No. 1 is absolutely filthy.** Kevin is still in there now, bless him, knocking down two hundred year old ceilings that have acted as a massive dish for the attic poo of a million mice.
5) The barns smell foul. I can smell them from quite a way away. They weren't heated up when we bought the place. There's a wasps' nest on the back of the door of the one I have to keep going in with rubble.
6) Polly spends all day collapsed in a sleepy heap. She starts to feel a bit more lively late at night and wants to stay out with the naughty cats. We can't allow that. She must instead be active around us as we try to sleep.
7) Everything we've moved out of Cottage No.1 is sticky, greasy and orangey black. I wear an eye mask, a breathing mask, gloves, but it is not enough to stop the gut-wrenching gross-out.
8) We have to deal with the cellar tomorrow, and it scares me. I think there's a blood-soaked killing area in one corner.
9) No, I can't think of anything else, so we'll have to make it eight.
*Yes, that was a bit of a comma-fest.
** It's the 'cleanest' of all of the buildings.
1) It is 8.45pm, and the temperature in the shade, without any exaggeration, which, I admit, I am prone to do, is 42 degrees Celsius. I'm exhausted, sweaty and smelly.*
2) The flies don't give up. I'm surrounded. I'm easy meat.
3) The water pressure that bursts the hose does not transfer to the caravan shower.
4) Cottage No. 1 is absolutely filthy.** Kevin is still in there now, bless him, knocking down two hundred year old ceilings that have acted as a massive dish for the attic poo of a million mice.
5) The barns smell foul. I can smell them from quite a way away. They weren't heated up when we bought the place. There's a wasps' nest on the back of the door of the one I have to keep going in with rubble.
6) Polly spends all day collapsed in a sleepy heap. She starts to feel a bit more lively late at night and wants to stay out with the naughty cats. We can't allow that. She must instead be active around us as we try to sleep.
7) Everything we've moved out of Cottage No.1 is sticky, greasy and orangey black. I wear an eye mask, a breathing mask, gloves, but it is not enough to stop the gut-wrenching gross-out.
8) We have to deal with the cellar tomorrow, and it scares me. I think there's a blood-soaked killing area in one corner.
9) No, I can't think of anything else, so we'll have to make it eight.
*Yes, that was a bit of a comma-fest.
** It's the 'cleanest' of all of the buildings.
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