Leroy Merlin and les Limaces

May 23, 2016

Leroy Merlin

Firstly, let me tell you that this is not pronounced as though we were considering a Jamaican wizard. No, it's 'ler-rwa merleen'. So I'm told. Popular opinion in the world of French DIY stores has it that Leroy Merlin is at the expensive end. We were of the same mind, as their stores seem to be less warehouse-y, more showroom-y. On our latest expedition there, however, we discovered several items that were actually cheaper (and nicer) than at Mr Bricolage and Brico Depot. Although the staff at our local Mr Bricolage have become more friendly and helpful than at first (remember the strimmer incident?), all of the staff at Leroy Merlin make every effort to offer assistance, and they invariably try to communicate in their best English. The staff at Brico Depot, as a rule, tend to avoid any sticky situations and just shrug or say 'non' when you ask for assistance (in our best French). I assume the man we asked about the extra long shower tray (that appears in their catalogue) thought that ordering the right size shower tray for us would be fraught with language difficulties, and simply told us to visit the branch in Bordeaux. Bordeaux! That's over a hundred miles away! We took our business to Leroy Merlin, who were happy to order it for us. Same thing with the shower screen- we took our business to Mr Bricolage. Although, they said it would be ten days, and we're still waiting for it to arrive fifteen days later... So, we continue to shower under about five needles of hot water in the caravan.

Well, I thought I'd give you a little peep inside Leroy Merlin, since I've been blowing their trumpet...

While still outside, I got quite excited about this big billboard; I'm a fan of outdoor living and there are lots of ideas here for creating different 'rooms' in the outdoor part of the homestead.

Door stickers?

A riot of colour! Did you know that pool noodles are called frites mousse? Fried foam.

Chez Leroy Merlin, parking spaces are provided for longer vehicles and cars with trailers. They're generously proportioned, so the white van men were able to create this staggered bricklaying pattern. That's Kevin with the fifteen packs of kitchen flooring. It was on special offer- less than half price! When he was scrutinizing them in the shop, one of the packs fell on his toe, causing him to limp for the rest of the day.

Health and Safety

Kevin was very sensibly wearing gloves when heating up a previously drained pipe in order to remove a dodgy joint and re-solder it. Unfortunately, a little bit of water had remained in the pipe, and as the joint came off, so did a spurt of boiling water. The fabric-backed gloves ensured that the boiling water was held against his skin for a longer period, and look! He didn't make a fuss... I would have.

The next day...

The Kitchen

It's all a bit 'Frankenstein's monster' in this corner. Navigating the pipes with fluff puff has proved challenging. And this cheaper brand of fluff puff is ugly... like fish skin. Without the shimmer.

Just in case we ever want to put up high level units in the kitchen, we've screwed in some board to provide a better fixing. Not wanting to waste any bits of board, you can see that we've resorted to using some strange shaped off-cuts. You may be wondering why we've decided to cover up the existing French stone walls. I would be wondering about that too, as I like to retain original features where possible, but, on this occasion, the original stone walls had been rendered, and that render is uneven and thick with grease, and it won't budge neatly to reveal the underlying stones. And, much of the material binding the stones together is just mud... or ants' nests. Best left alone, I say. The walls are nearly a metre thick- they're not going anywhere, especially not in the grips of that tough render.

Going wild with the hole-filling...

"Whatcha doin'?"

Outdoors

A French slug is called une limace. Look at this limace. It was the size of those giant walnut tree catkins! It was heading for my vegetable patch. I've had to buy and sprinkle some blue pellets to make it think twice. I have to admit that its underskirt is rather pretty...

You'll remember last summer's 'Fruitgate'. This year, I'm keeping a very close eye on all of our fruit. There are three cherry trees; last year, we didn't see one cherry. So, here are this year's crop, already a fair size, and prematurely dropping due to our recent high winds and storms. To be fair, we weren't actually here last late-May, so it's likely that the birds did indeed get to enjoy the full crop. Not this year! I'm on cherry-watch.