The Fosse Man

What do you know about septic tanks? If you're not French, then you know nothing! I have never come across a nation so well versed in septic tanks, or les fosses septiques, as they call them. As I've mentioned previously, our property has no bathrooms, no toilets, nothing so luxurious, oh no. This means that THE very most important thing in all of the world is that we begin the testing to establish exactly where our fosse will be placed, what type it will be and when we can start work. The fosse man has visited the site and has given instructions. Nothing else can go ahead at the property until the fosse is approved.The testing procedure is precise...

 Three holes must be dug in the general vicinity of the intended fosse site. The three holes should be spaced out nicely. They must be EXACTLY 50 cm deep and 30 cm square. All must be filled to the brim with water and left to drain. This took over eight hours. This probably does not indicate 'good drainage'. However, the test is not complete! One must then fill each of the three holes with EXACTLY 10 litres of water and carefully time how long they take to drain. 10 litres of water fills about half the capacity of the hole. But the holes and ground around are now very wet, so drainage is even more of a challenge. Well, it takes a long time. Five and a half hours actually. 
And then a drawing must be created to show the positions of the holes in relation to the property. The holes must be numbered and their drainage times recorded.

It sounds fairly straightforward I hear you say? No. There is a layer of rock at 40cm! It looks like a sedimentary rock, and when you hold it, you can break it up easily with your fingers. It doesn't behave that way when it is in the ground. In the ground, as a compacted mass, it fights back! Luckily, Kevin had a big drill to hand and a short visit from that beast cracked the problem. But when it eventually comes to digging the ten foot hole for the fosse tank, I imagine the gentle rock will put up a fight. Ho and hum. I've captured a sample of this rock to show my brother, who is a geologist; he'll know what to do. I just hope it doesn't involve dynamite.

Yes, the grass IS quite long. We actually will have to buy a sit-on mower, as there are 8 acres to mow. Don't panic- these are surprisingly cheap in France. I've already seen one I like at M. Bricolage!

So, the testing. Well, I've sent our report to the estate agent who will send it to the fosse man. Goodness knows what will happen now! I don't want to wait too long. I'd like to have a toilet quite soon, really.

We've filled in the holes as we didn't want to cause distress or damage to our local wildlife, as, along with wild boar, hares, rabbits, the farmer's dog and foxes (maybe wolves... we can't be sure), we have now seen deer! Not to mention the cows and horses which have evidently been invading!